Genshin Impact: I'm a Slime

"Ah, I'm so full!"

Paimon patted her round belly and let out a long sigh.

"Back in Natlan, even several Moraxes couldn't budge a single finger of mine. In the coliseum, you know? I put my hand on his nose, but I didn't actually move. According to the traditions of Natlan's martial arts, you stop when you've made your point…"

Lumine and Paimon watched as Famas, now drunk, hopped onto another table of diners, boasting about his past exploits.

"That Morax, with no sense of honor, just rushed in and ambushed me…"

The Good Hunter had teamed up with the Cat's Tail Tavern, offering not only hot meals but also Dandelion Wine and Cat's Tail Special brews.

While Lumine and Paimon were busy eating, Famas had somehow gotten his hands on a glass of Cat's Tail Special. After downing it, he started rambling, even claiming he had once fought the Geo Archon of Liyue. Lumine could only shake her head in disbelief.

"Famas, stop bragging. Have some peanuts, and let's get going."

Paimon wobbled as she flew up and grabbed Famas.

"Wait, alcohol is still liquid, right? Why is Famas drunk? Did the alcohol react with his Pyro element and burn up?"

Lumine picked up the babbling Famas.

Sensing the scent of the young girl, Famas finally quieted down and fell into a deep sleep.

"Uh, what do we do now?"

Lumine looked at Famas, who was now melting into a puddle of drunkenness.

"Let's leave Famas at the inn and go check on everyone at the Knights of Favonius headquarters?"

Paimon suggested uncertainly. They had originally planned to visit the Knights after eating to discuss their next steps, but they hadn't expected Famas to get drunk.

"Alright."

Lumine nodded, carrying Famas back to the inn. Under the strange gaze of the innkeeper, Lumine and Paimon settled Famas in and hurriedly left.

About ten minutes after Lumine and Paimon left the inn, Famas, who had been snoring loudly, opened his eyes. There was no trace of drunkenness in his gaze.

Famas jumped out of the inn window, landing in a small alley, and then quickly hopped forward.

"The scent of the wind is just ahead… but where did it go?"

Famas stopped at a corner of Mondstadt's city wall. The scent of the free wind he had been following seemed to end here.

A green-clad figure appeared at the base of the wall, holding a lyre with indigo strings glowing faintly.

The wind around them began to hum a pleasant melody, as if harmonizing with the Anemo Archon before them.

"Good afternoon, Barbatos, one of the Seven Archons."

Famas greeted the figure casually.

Venti turned around to confirm who was speaking, only to see a fiery red blob flying toward him. This was Natlan's traditional greeting—foreheads touching. Venti had always found these rituals strange.

Caught off guard, Venti was hit squarely on the forehead, turning it red.

He took a few steps back, clutching his head.

"Stay away from me!"

Barbatos looked helplessly at the bouncing Famas, deep in thought. "So, you can't even maintain a human form anymore? Famas, the Lord of War."

"Ahem, not for now. That's why I came to find you, Venti!"

Famas seemed to have found his lifeline.

"You need to help me find a few Pyro Visions. I need to extract the divine power from them to regain my human form."

"Mm."

Venti nodded, his lyre disappearing as he reached out and picked up Famas.

"Welcome back to the mortal world, Famas."

Now, the two weakest gods stared at each other, falling into a brief silence.

"How did you return to Teyvat? Did you sneak in from the Dark Sea?"

Venti asked the question that had been bothering him the most. As far as he knew, Famas had been completely annihilated after his battle with Morax, not even a trace left. After Morax left the battlefield, Venti had secretly visited the site, searching through the fallen meteors for any remnants of Famas.

"No, I was just sealed away. I wasn't actually killed."

The coastal nations of Teyvat referred to the areas beyond the protection of the Seven as the "Dark Sea." It was said that many defeated gods, unwilling to live under the new order of the Seven, fled to distant islands and became malevolent deities.

During the fall of Khaenri'ah, a certain sinner created countless monsters. These beasts, tainted with black blood incompatible with this world, trampled over all life, corrupting and destroying everything in their path. Their lives were twisted, granted by powers from beyond this world. If anything, Durin, the dragon that attacked Mondstadt, was one such creature.

"You didn't come to help me back then?"

Famas seemed to recall something, a hint of resentment in his voice as he spoke to Venti.

"Ehe."

Venti let out his signature chuckle.

"I had just woken up at the time, busy fighting the Demon Dragon Ursa. Besides, even if I had come, the two of us wouldn't have been a match for Morax."

"And… who would've thought that the God of War back then couldn't even beat Morax?"

"But now, that old blockhead Morax is getting on in years too. At the last Archon gathering, he didn't even scold me for slacking off. I think he's planning to retire."

Venti poked Famas's body.

"So, to repay you for helping liberate Mondstadt, I can help you borrow Outrider Amber's Vision."

At the mention of a Vision, Famas swallowed all the complaints he had been about to make.

"What about Dvalin, the Dragon of the East? What are you planning to do?"

Although Famas knew Venti could handle Dvalin on his own, he still asked casually.

"That's where you come in, Famas!"

"Me?"

"Yep!"

Venti set Famas down, crossing his arms and putting on a pitiful expression.

"You know, I'm the God of Freedom. I've been away from Mondstadt for too long, and just maintaining this human form takes a lot of effort."

"I'm just a Slime now. What can I do to help?"

Famas frowned, looking at Venti's playful expression.

"Ah, you don't need to do much. To calm Dvalin, we just need to… borrow a lyre from the Favonius Cathedral."

Venti grinned at Famas.

"The Holy Lyre der Himmel?"

Famas naturally knew what Venti was referring to.

"You're going to steal your own beloved instrument?"

"It's not stealing, it's taking. It's my lyre, so of course I can take it."

Venti retorted. As the Anemo Archon who protected Mondstadt, he couldn't just fight his own followers. He had to rely on others to retrieve the lyre needed to calm Dvalin.

"Basically, you just want to slack off…"

"Fine, I'll help Lumine steal… I mean, take the Holy Lyre."

Famas nodded in agreement.

"One more thing."

"Huh?!"

Venti looked at Famas, who was preparing to leap, a flash of panic crossing his face.

"Venti, forehead touch!"