I Became The Male Lead’s Female Friend

“I tried so many times to die.” 

Inhaling sharply, I gulped. Looking around the room.

 

The view of the room was still the same. But what was different was that I was looking at it from a distance.

 

Suddenly, I was floating in the air. I felt like a ghost. I realized that my body, which had been moving directly just a moment before, was moving on its own, and I was looking down on it from a distance.

 

Not only that, but I realized that what I was experiencing was an illusion. 

 

O’Neill had used magic on me, telling me to

‘see for myself and realize’.

 

Still, the tremor in my body refused to abate.

 “Yeah, I’ve done a lot of crazy things.” 

That’s because the experience didn’t end with the illusion.

 

The Dahlia I saw in the distance was in distress. 

 

She would stare blankly for long periods, then suddenly have a seizure, screaming like a maniac, and then lock herself in bed and cry herself to sleep.

 

Then she drew her dagger.

 “If I die, if I give up my life of my own accord…!” 

As she raised the dagger, her eyes glittered with a deathly obsession.

 

In an instant, red blood droplets spread everywhere.

 “All sorts of things.” 

The scene changed again.

 “Snakebite, suffocation, collapse, fatal fall, slipping and running, death, shock, starvation, asphyxiation, choking…” 

The scene kept changing.

 

It showed me attempting death countless times.

 

Starting with cutting my own throat, then hanging myself, then poisoning myself, then starving myself, then throwing myself off a cliff, then burning myself, then drowning myself, then suffocating myself underwater.

 “Ugh…!” 

The sight of all the different ways to die made me feel sick to my stomach.

 

And yet, I couldn’t take my eyes off Dahlia. Her despair, to be exact. 

 

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she closed her eyes, despairing at the reality that she was back in the past.

 “Stop, please stop…” 

It made me sick to my stomach.

 

As I gritted my teeth, someone walked up beside me. Turning my head, I saw a familiar figure. It was Dahlia, the heroine of all those scenes.

 

She looked at her past self numbly and muttered.

 “It wasn’t worth living, because no matter how it ends, I can’t close my eyes in peace.” “…” “I don’t even remember how many times I regressed, I just opened my eyes, and I was back again, mechanically going through the motions of living and dying, and when I closed my eyes, I was back to the beginning.” “…” “Then you start all over again, trying, running around, saving, living, dying, being happy, and coming back.” “…” “How do you think it ended…?” 

But I didn’t answer, and I didn’t think she wanted an answer either. 

 

Dahlia stared into space and muttered,

“I was about to give up, there was no point in doing anything, I wasn’t even motivated, I just thought I had to endure it and hope that one day the curse would be lifted…” 

Dahlia paused for a moment, her breathing faltering slightly.

“Suddenly, I saw hope.” 

Once again, the scene in front of her changed.

 

It was a completely different scene.

 

Dahlia wasn’t holding her sword as usual, but she wasn’t about to die, and she wasn’t sitting helplessly. Instead, she was listening to someone.

 “The taboo?” 

A man sat in front of her. She didn’t recognize him, but his white robes made him look like a priest of some order.

 

The priest explained calmly.

 “You have broken the taboo and turned back time, that’s for sure. The problem is the cause, and unless we find out what caused the taboo to be broken, it will be difficult to solve.” “…I thought about wanting to go back before I died, but that’s not the cause, is it?” “Well, I can’t say for sure what’s right, but…” 

He said firmly,

“I’m sure the answer lies in the first incident. If you know what happened that day, you can solve it.” 

‘The first incident…’

 

The scene blurred to a Dahlia muttering along with the priest’s words. Then she was beside me, speaking slowly.

 “But it wasn’t easy, because I couldn’t go back to the beginning since I had already started regressing, and even if I tried to recreate the same situation, I was dead and couldn’t see the details.” “…” “So I thought.” 

Without realizing it, I looked back at her. I caught a glimpse of my reflection.

 “What if I watched the first event as a third person?” 

She was grinning strangely.

 “Do you realize that there are countless timelines in this world? That I make a different choice, which creates another timeline, and so on, tangling and weaving like a spider’s web?” “…” “That’s where you find the ‘first timeline,’ the one before I regressed.  “You don’t mean…” 

Her smile deepened.

 “I’m here now.” 

I gaped, dumbfounded.

 “Of course, I needed someone else’s body, since only my soul traveled, but since it’s the same world, it was easy to find a useful body that I’d pre-ordained, and it didn’t take long to get used to…” “Wait, hold on, that doesn’t mean…” 

A memory suddenly flashed through my mind.

 

So, when I was in the North. A bizarre dream I had while I was knocked unconscious after falling off a cliff.

 

As soon as I saw it, I knew it was a dream. Because I was bleeding to death, and Rudrick was there, holding me, sobbing.

 

And over his shoulder, I could clearly see…

 “So that’s what you were seeing when you were dying.” “What.” 

She didn’t deny it.

 “You knew?” 

Looking at her smiling, I felt goosebumps rise.

 

I wondered if it was normal for another human being to be watching her death with such an indifferent gaze.

 

No, she was probably already half-crazed from the moment she got here. I swallowed dryly and asked.

 “So… do you know what caused it?” “…” 

She didn’t answer, and only after a long pause did she blurt out.

 “Come to think of it, you and I are in the same boat.” “What?” “Do you know why I failed?” 

She smiled bitterly.

 “Because the regression started right after I died.” “…!” “I didn’t even have time to see what happened next. Luckily, I was able to slip through a rift in time and avoid returning to my timeline.” “…” “In the end, the curse was happening to me in every timeline, even the ones I didn’t go to…” 

I couldn’t quite follow. So… my regression wasn’t just a one-time thing? It was the same curse she had?

 

If so, I would end up…

 “End up living the same life I did.” “…” “Saving my parents? Becoming the head of the family? Reviving the family name? Living happily ever after with the one I love? It’s all for nothing.” “…” “You’re going back to the beginning anyway.” 

At my pale expression, she smiled with satisfaction.

 “But don’t worry, Dahlia, unlike the other timelines, you have me here.” “…” “If we can’t die, we can stop time. You can close your eyes in time, frozen forever. Then you won’t have to suffer dozens or hundreds of trips back in time.” “…” “Of course, I won’t stop time right away if you want me to, but when you’ve had all the happiness you can handle, when you’re no longer bitter about life…” 

The rest of the time, she kept talking, as if trying to convince me.

 

That she would use her experience to help me, that she could make Averine more than just a household name, but an imperial one, that everyone on the continent would bow before it.

 

They were sweet whispers, but in the end, they meant only one thing.

 “Let’s stop here.” 

If I said her words weren’t tantalizing, I’d be lying.

 

The truth was, I was scared. Of what I would have to endure, like her, through countless iterations of time.

 

Just being in that vision for a moment was enough to send shivers down my spine, but to have to go through something worse, to be constantly searching for a way out of a situation that would never end.

 “I must be going crazy.” 

Who knows, maybe at the end of the day, I might end up like her. But…

 “No.” 

After a long pause, I finally managed to speak. Her face contorted on its own, but I didn’t let it stop me from saying what I had to say.

 “You’re stalling because you want to, but is it really any different from giving up?” “…What?” “I didn’t run all the way here to give up at the end, and I didn’t live every day fiercely to be sealed in a happy moment.” “Hah, for a subject that only got you this far because of my memories?” “Yes. I’ll admit it. I wouldn’t have made it this far without your memories, but…” 

Pausing to catch my breath, I spoke firmly.

 “It doesn’t mean I didn’t try.” “Dahlia!” “Dahlia, think again. Maybe this time will be different. You were on your own there, but here, you have me.” “…” “Alone is not the same as two. Just like I’ve gotten this far because of your memories, we’ll find a way together. You can rest when you’re tired. I’ll be there to support you.” 

With that, I stormed toward her. I smiled trustingly at her, taking her hand as she stumbled backward.

 “I’ll be your support. Trust me.” 

A tiny quiver ran through her eyes.

 

She didn’t speak for a while. She stared blankly at my hand, then let out a barely contained gasp and shuddered.

 “Ha, ha, ha… Dahlia, you are so…” 

Then she mumbled, her voice a little hoarse.

 “I… you never change.” “Dahlia?” 

But I couldn’t move.

 

No, I wasn’t the only one. For a moment, everything around me stopped. The wind whistling through the window, the tea stirring slightly, the surrounding sounds, the time of all things.

 

As I watched the landscape gradually turn gray, I realized.

 

‘You’re about to start the seal.’

 

I exclaimed, looking at her urgently,

“Dahlia, release this!” “I…” 

However, she wasn’t looking at me.

 

Looking away from me with eyes that were somehow unhinged, she casually pulled her hand from my grasp. 

 

Then she rummaged in my arms and pulled out something.

 

My eyes widened as I realized what she was holding.

 

‘A dagger.’

 

Biting my lip, I wondered if she was going to hold it to her throat like before, but this time it was different. The sheath was removed, revealing a cypheron blade.

 

It was pointed directly at me.

 “I really want you to be happy.” 

With those words, she held the blade high. I squeezed my eyes shut.

 

At this rate, this was going to be the end…

 Thud— “Huh?” 

Suddenly, I felt a warmth envelop my body.

 

It was a warmth I knew well.  It wrapped around me when I fell off the cliff, when it embraced me as I jumped down the slope, and this time…

 “Rudrick…?”